Ramblings that will eventually become a short story/ YA novel. *fuck will be used often*
She ignored me again today. Nothing new. Still I hold out and expect something different. Most people think that if you just try hard enough, be yourself, someone will notice you. Someone that you care about and love will love you back. That’s some shit. Only a small population of the male species can be the sensitive type that I am and somehow be successful at getting a/THE girl. Yes, the movies are wrong. John Cusack would have been standing under the window of some girl who thought, “Oh, he’s really sweet, but man, this seems really clingy.” And the only reason I know about this sappy 80’s movie guy is because of her. I’m sensitive enough to watch a marathon of 80’s movies that publicly oust my kind. I wasn’t even born in the 80’s. Examples!!!!!!
John Cusack - Say Anything
16 Candles - the dorky guy
Not another Teen Movie (yeah, it’s not 80’s) - the other dorky guy
I truly believe that natural selection will gradually extinguish my kind. I am of the notebook carrying, song lyric writing, ipod-wearing boy-man subgroup. Don’t start thinking I’m some tall lanky mysterious loner guy who will sing you songs that instantly drop your panties and melt your heart. Do you know how many girls want that guy? ALL OF THEM. Fuck. Do you know how many books are about the friend who has always been there by their secret crush’s side and held her hair back as she puked? All the while knowing that she was trying to get drunk off her ass to be able to talk to a guy that isn’t you? Um… based on my experiences… let me think about this really hard for a second, none.
The truth is that if you can care about someone with your whole heart they can still always see you as friend. The truth is that you are assigned a number 1-10 of how hot you are and, naturally, likes match with likes. So, if I’m a five I will probably be with a five. People like her get with people who are the same number - an easy 8 or a possible 9. I’m not making this up. It’s science.
It’s also science that beautiful people have issues too. Sometimes weird fucking issues..
Her: How do I look?
Me: Do you want the guy point of view or the girl?
Her: Obviously the guys.
Me: That dress is hideous. You look like a fuckin carrot. It neither
shows off your ass or your tits, therefore there is no point to it
Her: Damn you’re right. I saw it in a magazine. I thought it looked good.
No, that was not my honest opinion. She looked hot and always looks hot, but with one word from someone else she changes her hair, her clothes, her personality. She’s not perfect and that makes me like her even more, because I am nowhere close to perfect. However, her proximity to perfect is way different from mine. I’m standing in another town while she’s having a nice candlelight dinner with it.
So those that think that we, as individuals, are capable of doing anything we want can go to hell. How the fuck can I be in control of my height, or my clothes, or my parents? I’ve been fucked from the beginning. Those people who think we can somehow maneuver ourselves through the hierarchy of high school popularity can go fuck themselves. No fucking self help book can help me with this one. Seriously, I hate those bastards that sell self-help books. Why? Because those who buy them are so unhappy with their fucked up miserable lives that the book itself is a window to an emotion that they can’t grasp. The book’s only help is that it promises help and therefore makes them feel better while they read it. “If only I think positively then I too can become a millionaire.” Then once the book is done, a minute population will actually act on it. Yes, self help means you actually have to get off your ass and start changing shit yourself. Most people self-defeat themselves before they even start.